The City That Reads

by singerz

I had a great post prepared about the super-bowl, including such happenings as: My friend spills wing-sauce on his pants. We have an awkward moment as I reach and wipe the sauce off of his upper left thigh and eat it. The sauce I mean. I did not eat his thigh.

In other news, I just saw my doctor on the subway. While it may be legitimate for him to do this during a checkup, I don’t think grabbing my crotch and telling me to turn my head and cough is appropriate for the subway. Maybe that’s just me. Oh, it IS just me? Fine. Grab away, Doc. Cough cough, bitch.

Later that day, I met a British man. British accents make everything sound smart and sophisticated, to the point where the guy could say “I slept with your mother and beat up your children” and you will probably thank him for his articulate and well-thought-out kindness. Maybe not. Maybe, since you speak English and are normal, you’d get upset if he said that. Again, that might just be the way I play it, homes.

In blogger news, next weekend will be the second blogger convention but this time it will be in Baltimore. You may be wondering where Baltimore is. I’m just not sure. You may also be wondering why Baltimore’s city nickname was “The city that reads” (not a lie) when its literacy rate was one of the lowest in the country. I’m wondering that too. The only theory I came up with is that they brought some guy in to pick the city slogan among a few choices, and he couldn’t read any of them, and so he picked that one. Illiteracy jokes are funny, no? And even if they are not, no one who can’t read will be reading this so I don’t have to worry about offending anyone.

Superbowl, New Job, Bar

By Mink

I know its been a while but I didn’t have much of anything to say. But at long last here are a couple of thoughts on 3 things going on in my incredibly exciting life right now.

Super Bowl: First of all the commercials were nothing to email home about, although the Fedex dinosaur commercial was solid.

Now about the game: It’s a weird emotion when you aren’t rooting as much for one team to win as much as you are for the other to lose. I actually kind of like Seattle but for me the game was much more about wishing death on the black and gold. As many of you know, they are number three in my pillars of hatred tree which is as follows:

1. The New York Yankees
2. Duke University
3. The Pittsburgh Steelers
4. The Nazis.

Needless to say I wasn’t pleased with the outcome and am gloomily predicting that 2006 will be the year that all members of this despised quartet will be champions. And yes I am including the Nazis in this b/c early word is that the Germans have a solid squad for the world cup.

New Job:
So to fill you in last Monday I began a paid fellowship doing top secret govt work. Anyway besides myself and the other new fellow everyone else in the office is actually a fella. Now I definitely have no complaints about that and the ladies are all lovely and pleasant co-workers but it certainly has been a bit of a culture shock. I am getting a great education about calories, panda bears, sugar content, boyfriend’s back hair, grams of fat, shopping (including ring shopping), sodium, clothing and anti-oxidants. I’m trying really hard to fit in but it’s not easy. At lunch yesterday, after hearing 8 or 9 shopping stories, I tried to join in the parade by proudly exclaiming “Yeah I did really well at the Syms winter blowout sale.” For some reason they weren’t all that impressed. I keep having this recurring nightmare that the whole office is snickering at me as they notice me munching on some potato chips while wearing a black belt that apparently clashes with my brown shoes. Oh well.


Bar exam: Finally I haven’t been writing much cuz I’ve been torturing myself with this fun little test. Found out recently that I’m taking it at the warehouse at Camden Yards (FYI: it’s the home of the orioles). Anyway it has always been my dream to compete at that stadium I just never imagined that the competition would be a bunch of anal law grads and the bats and balls would be replaced by number 2 pencils. I’m thinking of starting a wave and will definitely have several 7th inning stretches. Boy would it be nice if there were some peanut and beer vendors there, but on second thought the beer would probably not be wise as it would cause me to heckle. “Hey Goldberg you don’t even know what a tortuous assault means!” or “Johnson I hear you were only hitting .200 on your evidence practice questions.” Anyway I just hope I perform a little better than the O’s do in that park.