Friday, June 22, 2007

Summer Ramblings: Misapplications of Summer Solstice and Sunscreen Lotion

By Mink

Well it is officially summer. I know this because yesterday was June 21, Summer Solstice. In general I enjoy wishing people (especially Dunkin Donut Cashiers) happy holidays no matter how obscure. “Ok you take care now and have yourself a wonderful Flag Day.” Or “Keep the change and enjoy your Bastille Day.” Or “You have yourself a safe Declaration of the Báb Day.” But for some reason the Solstice one just wont roll off the tongue and I end up inevitably fumbling over the words and telling people to enjoy their “Summer Salsa-tiz” which despite sounding like a fabulous spicy Mexican dish, actually means nothing.

Anyway, the point to all this rambling is that summer is officially here and that makes me happy. My pasty white skin would disagree, but for me it doesn’t get much better than eating a Rita’s Gellatti with my sunroof down while listening to Madonna. Ok maybe it gets a little better than that but not much. The point is that if you have pale skin make sure to learn how to evenly apply sunscreen before riding for 4 hours in a convertible to a wedding. No matter how you slice it if you have a bad sunburn across half of your face, you will look like a jackass.

Another pearl of wisdom as we enter the summer period---spend more than 7 dollars on flip flops. If you don’t there is a strong chance that one flop will break and that you will be awkwardly stumbling throughout the bar as other patrons anoint you as “Flopless Joe.” If you are beginning to think these are not just hypotheticals, well I think you should go eat some spicy Summer Salsa-Tiz.

Finally one of my favorite things about summer time has to be the outdoor bars and cafés. Ever since teachers would instruct me to use my indoor voice, I have always been a big outdoors guy. Now I am pretty sure they have some summer outdoor seating in every city in America, but my very New York-centric friend Alana, was utterly shocked that a non Big Apple city could facilitate outdoor bars (or anything for that matter). After leaving NY for the first time in her life to attend a conference in downtown Baltimore, Alana was baffled that there was civilized life outside NY and that the civilized life included outdoor entertainment. I think she got it after a while I think but I was a bit taken aback when she said “Baltimore actually isn’t so bad, it kinda reminds me of Amsterdam.” That has to be the first time that sentence was ever spoken. Gotta love New Yorkers.


Blogger Diana said...

Bastille Day is not obscure!

12:22 PM  
Blogger The Mink said...

To Dunkin Donut workers it is obscure..Trust me.

1:35 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

I've been looking an outdoor cafe in New York for the past few weeks and I haven't found a single one. Maybe Alana has New York confused with Amsterdam, also.

2:11 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

This one is obscure.

2:43 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Confound Clerks Daily!

12:03 PM  
Blogger Jacob Da Jew said...

Outdoor cafe?

Do tables outside bars in the Village qualify?

8:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amsterdam....let me guess...for its free drugs maybe?;-)

7:06 PM  

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