Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Superbowl, New Job, Bar

By Mink

I know its been a while but I didn’t have much of anything to say. But at long last here are a couple of thoughts on 3 things going on in my incredibly exciting life right now.

Super Bowl: First of all the commercials were nothing to email home about, although the Fedex dinosaur commercial was solid.

Now about the game: It’s a weird emotion when you aren’t rooting as much for one team to win as much as you are for the other to lose. I actually kind of like Seattle but for me the game was much more about wishing death on the black and gold. As many of you know, they are number three in my pillars of hatred tree which is as follows:

1. The New York Yankees
2. Duke University
3. The Pittsburgh Steelers
4. The Nazis.

Needless to say I wasn’t pleased with the outcome and am gloomily predicting that 2006 will be the year that all members of this despised quartet will be champions. And yes I am including the Nazis in this b/c early word is that the Germans have a solid squad for the world cup.

New Job:
So to fill you in last Monday I began a paid fellowship doing top secret govt work. Anyway besides myself and the other new fellow everyone else in the office is actually a fella. Now I definitely have no complaints about that and the ladies are all lovely and pleasant co-workers but it certainly has been a bit of a culture shock. I am getting a great education about calories, panda bears, sugar content, boyfriend’s back hair, grams of fat, shopping (including ring shopping), sodium, clothing and anti-oxidants. I’m trying really hard to fit in but it’s not easy. At lunch yesterday, after hearing 8 or 9 shopping stories, I tried to join in the parade by proudly exclaiming “Yeah I did really well at the Syms winter blowout sale.” For some reason they weren’t all that impressed. I keep having this recurring nightmare that the whole office is snickering at me as they notice me munching on some potato chips while wearing a black belt that apparently clashes with my brown shoes. Oh well.

Bar exam: Finally I haven’t been writing much cuz I’ve been torturing myself with this fun little test. Found out recently that I’m taking it at the warehouse at Camden Yards (FYI: it’s the home of the orioles). Anyway it has always been my dream to compete at that stadium I just never imagined that the competition would be a bunch of anal law grads and the bats and balls would be replaced by number 2 pencils. I’m thinking of starting a wave and will definitely have several 7th inning stretches. Boy would it be nice if there were some peanut and beer vendors there, but on second thought the beer would probably not be wise as it would cause me to heckle. “Hey Goldberg you don’t even know what a tortuous assault means!” or “Johnson I hear you were only hitting .200 on your evidence practice questions.” Anyway I just hope I perform a little better than the O’s do in that park.


Anonymous Nazi said...

I'm offended that you would put me on such a list of terrible things.

12:40 AM  
Anonymous singerz said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:11 PM  
Blogger The Critics said...

Good joke with the Symms Blowout sale. I wanted to comment that since I work for the same place you do, the work isnt really "top secret" and that you're full of crap. But that would make me look bad, so I'll just say welcome to the top secret organization that we cant name.

4:34 PM  
Anonymous Yankee Fan said...

I'm insulted that i'm on your list of hatred and why are the nazi's after the yankees?? . What did the girl do about her boyfriend's back hair?? Good luck on the bar!

4:16 PM  
Anonymous random girl said...

now what's with the "comment deleted" business? that only makes us readers more curious as to what was SO bad that it had to be removed... put the shit back on.

9:08 PM  
Anonymous your english teacher said...

BTW has anyone ever noticed that at the top of the blog "DERANGED" is spelled incorrectly? just one R buddy. it's been bugging me.

9:24 PM  
Blogger SINGERZ said...

Thank you for pointing that out, but I don't know if you are aware that in ancient eperanto "derranged" had two "r"'s in it.


1:39 AM  
Anonymous greenie said...

I thought the commercials were pretty good actually...much funnier than anything on this blog anyway...

3:43 PM  
Anonymous your english teacher said...

nice try Singer but eperanto isnt a word either. and if it is......why'd you change "deranged"? :)

12:24 AM  
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