Sunday, February 19, 2006

The City That Reads

by singerz

I had a great post prepared about the super-bowl, including such happenings as: My friend spills wing-sauce on his pants. We have an awkward moment as I reach and wipe the sauce off of his upper left thigh and eat it. The sauce I mean. I did not eat his thigh.

In other news, I just saw my doctor on the subway. While it may be legitimate for him to do this during a checkup, I don’t think grabbing my crotch and telling me to turn my head and cough is appropriate for the subway. Maybe that’s just me. Oh, it IS just me? Fine. Grab away, Doc. Cough cough, bitch.

Later that day, I met a British man. British accents make everything sound smart and sophisticated, to the point where the guy could say “I slept with your mother and beat up your children” and you will probably thank him for his articulate and well-thought-out kindness. Maybe not. Maybe, since you speak English and are normal, you’d get upset if he said that. Again, that might just be the way I play it, homes.

In blogger news, next weekend will be the second blogger convention but this time it will be in Baltimore. You may be wondering where Baltimore is. I’m just not sure. You may also be wondering why Baltimore’s city nickname was “The city that reads” (not a lie) when its literacy rate was one of the lowest in the country. I’m wondering that too. The only theory I came up with is that they brought some guy in to pick the city slogan among a few choices, and he couldn’t read any of them, and so he picked that one. Illiteracy jokes are funny, no? And even if they are not, no one who can’t read will be reading this so I don’t have to worry about offending anyone.


Anonymous Baltimore City said...

You're a real dick, mocking me like that. Plus, thats not my motto anymore so screw you.

7:23 PM  
Blogger The Fades said...

i will be in attendance

9:37 PM  
Anonymous greenie said...

As a long time reader of this blog i have to say that this post compared to previous material was just not funny and offered very little insight into anything remotely interesting.

3:39 PM  
Blogger F. Pants McFadden said...

"The City that Reads" was never Baltimore's nickname. It was the city motto. It is no longer the city motto. Now it's "The Greatest City in America." While arguably not true (but also arguably true), it is at least, ambitious. Baltimore's nickname is Charm City. Some also still refer to it as Mobtown.

3:48 PM  
Blogger F. Pants McFadden said...

Additionally, Baltimore is in the market for a new motto. They have hired, at great expense, a marketing firm to create a catchy and non-laugh-inducing motto. For some good and shitty suggestions from the Baltimore population, check out,1,1037559,comments.graffitiboard?coll=bal-artslife-today.

I happen to like " tries hard."

3:49 PM  
Blogger The Critics said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:44 PM  
Blogger The Critics said...

I wanted to offer my Blog as an alternative for any of the Garbage Dump's readers who are tired of this laissez faire crap that they've been posting lately. It's got some reviews of kosher eateries in the area, although Pikes has closed. Long live the Pikes! (even though its treif now)

12:46 PM  
Anonymous smelly pee said...

this post blows...but it can be made better if you watch this afterwards:

7:36 PM  
Blogger Chaya said...

I don't know wha'ts up with all the complaints, I loved this blog. I should mention that I am readig it while at work and I tend to find very odd blogs to be stimulating. I was wondering why they repainted all the benches in Baltimore to say, the great city in the world, thanks for all the wonderful insight. Keep posting (or at least keep posting while I'm at this job)

4:17 PM  
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