Awkward

By Mink

One of the problems with being awkward is that you tend to always do say or do something that deviates from the socially acceptable norm.

By the way I think that the word “awkward” is way overused. Since about the year 2002 I have noticed that people have been really forcing that word into daily conversation. And half the time nothing at all was awkward until the label has been vocalized. Example:

Me (in front of my friend’s parents): Sara, so how’s that rash you were telling me about?
Sara: Um…..better….thanks
Sara’s friend (standing right there): All right this is awkward; I think I’m going to go.

Well maybe this wasn’t the best example but you get the point. Things often would not ever be considered awkward until a third party casually drops the A-word, creating quite an uncomfortable scene that ultimately enters the realm of awkwardness.

Anyway despite my little rant on awkward over usage, it is certainly fair to characterize me as awkward and I definitely have a problem of saying and doing the wrong thing nearly all the time. I was actually pretty excited the other day when I heard speakers at a crisis readiness conference discuss how to deal with what I thought was my exact condition: “Foot in Mouth Disease.” However, I was quickly educated by my co-worker that “Foot and Mouth Disease” is actually a pretty serious epidemic plaguing thousands of livestock. I guess cattle can be awkward too.

One of the ways that I awkwardly do the wrong thing is by non-discretely staring at people. This is a major problem especially on subways where the non-awkward obviously realize that you are supposed to stare at the ground and avoid eye-contact at all costs (see singerz’s subway piece from December). I also noticed last night while watching a comedy show that I have this tendency to stare directly at the person seated closest to me who is a member of the ethnicity that the comedian just made a joke about. Finally, I non-discretely gaze at pretty girls, unattractive girls, women with mustaches, suicide bombers, and at people in mid-brawl or mid-arrest. So far I have yet to get my awkward ass kicked but that could change any day.