Monday, January 09, 2006

Who Loves Being Nude

by singerz

Ever notice that little kids - say 2,3,4 year olds, hate wearing clothes and love being naked? (In some cases, 10,11, 25 year olds, ahem Mink ahem). I have seen many little kids with huge grins on their faces running around their homes buck naked. They’re at the age where they are well-aware that they are naked, and simply love it. I envy them. People just comment: “Oh he’s so cute.” The one time I ran around my apartment in the nude with a huge grin on my face, needless to say, no one commented: “Oh how cute.” (which reminds me, I need to find a new apt, anyone know of roommates? My roommates said that they and I have “irreconcilable differences” and I have no idea why).

It has come to my attention in recent days, as I have been spending more time in the sauna, steam room, and men’s locker-room at my gym (not to see the men, to do that I can always just go see Brokeback Mountain), that the “loving being nude” trend returns at about the age of 63.

I understand that it’s a men’s locker-room and so many people go with the “why-the-hell-not-be-nude” lifestyle philosophy. But no, this is different. Coincidentally being nude for a moment or two while changing, showering, etc, is fine in a men’s locker-room. But these men, these old men, LOVE being nude. Support:

(The scene: steam room. Zev is the only one below the age of 67 and, interestingly, the only one wearing a bathing suit)

Old man 1: Sonny, why are you wearing your bathing suit?
Zev: Errrrr…
Old man 2: I bet he’s embarrassed of something.
All old men: (raucous laughter)
Zev: NO not true.
Old man 3: So then take off your bathing suit! None of us are afraid of showing off our goods!
Zev: (runs out of steam room crying)

Maybe it’s the fact that they just don’t care anymore. They’ve seen it all, done it all. What’s one more set of genitalia to these guys, yaknow? I can’t imagine that I will ever enjoy being nude as these guys do. But you never know, there was a time that I never thought I’d even be sitting in a room with scalding steam pouring into my face and loving it.

11 Comments:

Blogger Bezalel said...

HAHA - best post yet

8:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

that says a lot about the previous posts

3:57 PM  
Anonymous smelly pee said...

Zev,
I have to be honest with you. I connect to the material because I myself had my first excellent shvitz just a week ago. Of course, walking around naked in Berkeley, CA different problems associated with walking around naked but I will spare you the details.
Your writing is getting better...but the mental image of you naked and smiling is one that will not be soon forgotten.

5:27 PM  
Blogger BP Babe said...

zevvy, with that attitude, how will you ever fulfill your dream of stripping at my friend's bachelorette party?

3:30 PM  
Blogger The Mink said...

It's weird because I only begining grinning and frolicking without clothes after my childhood. In fact, when I was 8 I suggested to my female next door neighbor (who was 6 at the time) "If you show me yours Ill show you mine." She gave me a view and I just scampered away.

4:09 PM  
Anonymous bezalel said...

HA HA - best mink comment yet

12:33 AM  
Blogger ADDeRabbi said...

funny post. it inspired me to write this

9:21 PM  
Anonymous Tobias said...

Zevvy - Maybe you are a never-nude. It's nothing to be ashamed. I myself have never felt the hot steam on my testicales without the protection of frilly jean shorts.

12:26 PM  
Anonymous Lennon said...

Singer,
It's nice that you left out a certain family, from a certain city, with a certain Coach Ditka, that Loves being nude for all times. And the Wild Rose connection... How could you forget?

2:01 AM  
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