Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Year Fetish

By Mink

For anyone who is still reading this blog (and I'm assuming its just the 3 of us: zev, myself and anoynmous) I would like to wish you all a happy new year. I can't believe its already 2006 and I will refuse to believe it all the way up to August 1st which is normally the time that I start dating things with the correct year (Although I take even longer to adjust to the drastic year changes such as 1999-2000 where I continued to date things as '99 well until the spring of 2001.)

I think New Year's excites me more than it does most people because among my many issues, is what I guess I would describe as a "calendar year association fetish." To clarify, my sick little brain enjoys using calendar dates to remember and understand stuff. For example, when I am introduced to someone who I know I have met before (and he or she of course has no knowledge of my existence), instead of acting like a normal person and either biting my tongue and saying "nice to meet you" or "I think we met at Joe's house," I will say something like "Oh yeah didn't we meet at a party at Joe's house back in the fall of 1999?" or "we met right after they announced the major league baseball strike of 1994."

Obviously such statements are percieved as weird, creepy, or autistic. And this person I am speaking to either honestly doesn't remember me or more likely once made a concious choice to erase me from their memory. More problematic is if the person I have remembered happens to be a girl and she now believes I am an obscessed stalker who has forever stored the date of our first meeting in the recesses of my brain.

A girl's perception of stalking is a whole nother ballgame. If you show up at a girl's door with flowers, sing her lullabies, remember exact calendar dates, and send her candigrams you very well could be labeled a stalker. But that same girl could also very well find the same actions to be "cute" or "sweet" if she is somewhat attracted to you. So I guess what I'm saying is, I really struggle with that fine line between "cute" and "dangerously stalkish."

P.S. I will only respond to Zev's cheap behind the back attack by saying that while he wrote it, my albino body was enjoying the 80 degree sun and black jack with Ken Griffey Jr......And one more thing Zev, your fingernails are gross and you eat fried farmer's cheese.


Anonymous Lennon said...

I notice there is no response to Singerz charges. Happy New Year.

12:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why'd you guys decide to stop being funny?

12:55 AM  
Blogger The Mink said...

Check the P.S. Lennon.

10:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ken griffey? i need to know more!

8:47 PM  
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