Choose Your Own Adventure
by singerz
Growing up (which many people claim I have not done yet), I used to love reading those “Choose Your Own Adventure” books. There was nothing more exciting to me than having an adventure, and being able to choose it, on my own. Simply fantastic.
Admittedly, I cheated. Whenever I made a choice, I would hold my finger in the place in the book where I was reading, look ahead to the page where my choice led me, and decide whether it was the right choice. Needless to say, I always beat the villain, never became the villain, never accidentally killed my friend, never got eaten by a three-headed wooly mammoth, always solved the crime, and once, I even got the girl (that was in my older years when getting the girl was the good result and not the bad one - ewwww girls).
Not that it was so difficult to choose what the correct choice should be. I will give you an example: You’re walking in the woods. There is a fork in the road. You pick it up and put in your pocket with your spoon (sorry, I had to say it). Then the road splits and you have two choices:
If you decide to walk down the scary dark path with snakes on it, a skull and crossbones marking it, and evil maniacal laughter emanating from down the path, turn to page 4.
If you decide to walk down the path with sunshine, roses, gold, ping pong tables, fair maidens giving out free snacks, and unlimited soda fountains, turn to page 5.
Tough decision, eh? I should write a psychology book entitled “You know your child is a sociopath if he finds himself on page 4.”
And now, for this weeks Choose Your Own Adventure: You live in the Upper West Side of Manhattan. Two different friends are offering to set you up on dates with different girls:
If you decide to go out with the ‘bearded lady’, turn to page 10
If you decide to go out with Jo-Jo the dog-faced albino, turn to page 14.
Correct answer: Burn the book.
Growing up (which many people claim I have not done yet), I used to love reading those “Choose Your Own Adventure” books. There was nothing more exciting to me than having an adventure, and being able to choose it, on my own. Simply fantastic.
Admittedly, I cheated. Whenever I made a choice, I would hold my finger in the place in the book where I was reading, look ahead to the page where my choice led me, and decide whether it was the right choice. Needless to say, I always beat the villain, never became the villain, never accidentally killed my friend, never got eaten by a three-headed wooly mammoth, always solved the crime, and once, I even got the girl (that was in my older years when getting the girl was the good result and not the bad one - ewwww girls).
Not that it was so difficult to choose what the correct choice should be. I will give you an example: You’re walking in the woods. There is a fork in the road. You pick it up and put in your pocket with your spoon (sorry, I had to say it). Then the road splits and you have two choices:
If you decide to walk down the scary dark path with snakes on it, a skull and crossbones marking it, and evil maniacal laughter emanating from down the path, turn to page 4.
If you decide to walk down the path with sunshine, roses, gold, ping pong tables, fair maidens giving out free snacks, and unlimited soda fountains, turn to page 5.
Tough decision, eh? I should write a psychology book entitled “You know your child is a sociopath if he finds himself on page 4.”
And now, for this weeks Choose Your Own Adventure: You live in the Upper West Side of Manhattan. Two different friends are offering to set you up on dates with different girls:
If you decide to go out with the ‘bearded lady’, turn to page 10
If you decide to go out with Jo-Jo the dog-faced albino, turn to page 14.
Correct answer: Burn the book.
posted by SINGERZ at 1:28 AM
6 Comments:
omg that was awesome. i loved those books and i did the same thing.
and i say throw your match-maker friends into the fire along with the book
Zev, you had me LOL and I almost SIMP.
I totally loved Choose Your Own Adventure books... I still do! Did you know that they relaunched the series? They have replublished the books with online endings as well. You should check out the website. http://www.cyoa.com
I think I had a deprived childhood
As an Albino I take offense to that last remark - How dare I be persecuted due to my lack of pigmentation be it for dating, or more importantly, as a mysterious character in a $5.99 novel which becomes the first instrument teaching children to cheat and escape consequences simply by turning back to page 12...
Happy Birthday Beetch...
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