Thursday, September 21, 2006

Random Thoughts from my (big) Head

by singerz

I didn’t have the patience to write a full-fledged, beautifully interconnected, articulate, introspective, deep post. So I just threw some random goofy shit together and hope you enjoy what goes on in my head. And my head happens to be big. Literally, not figuratively.

Big news. I have a new favorite snack. That’s right. I do. I’m not lying. After years of sitting on my Twizzler Nibs throne, I have now switched to…wait for it…CREAMSICLES. I spent two and a half months of the summer searching for these snacks, and I finally found them and ate 16 of them within 4 days. That’s quite a lot of Cream and Popsicle. Cream-sicle. Popsi-cream. I’m changing the name- POPSICREAMS. Delicious, really delicious.

Know what annoys me? Leftovers. Growing up, every Monday night in my house involved reheated items from the weekend food. My mom is a great cook, but somehow between Friday night and Monday everything melds together into a mush of leftovers that is indiscernible. Cannot be discerned. A mush of chicken, meat, soup, salad, potatoes, grape juice, bread, gefilte fish fat juice, and cookies. Indiscernible.

Speaking of my Mom and Food. When my mom is serving food onto everyone’s plates, and I have put my rice or potatoes ALL THE WAY to one corner of the plate with clear intentions that I do not want any of the juices from other food items touching my rice or potatoes, my mom has DEAD ON ACCURACY. Without fail, the food she is serving will end up directly on top of the food that I was trying to protect in the corner of the plate. With that aim, my mom should take up archery

Last Wednesday. Last Wednesday night, I found myself at home. Which is awesome, because I had been looking for myself for like 3 days and home was the last place I thought to look. If you did not get this joke, read it again. Still no? Once more. Get it but don’t particularly like it? Suck it.

Toys ‘R’ Us. Why is the ‘R’ in the Toys R Us logo, backwards and in quotes? Are they mocking dyslexic people? Do the quotation marks around the backwards ‘R’ emphasize it, as if to say- “Look, only dyslexic people see this as a proper ‘R,’ isn’t that funny?” Well I have news for you Geoffrey you little awkward son-of-a-bitch giraffe, ITS NOT FUNNY.


Anonymous SingerZ is Loud said...

How is the laryngitis Zev? Anyone who personally knows SingerZ understands that without such an ailment he would have located himself almost immediately; during one of his crude analytical tirades with the decibel level of 220......I just praise the lord that you weren't hiding from the Nazis as a child.

11:32 AM  
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Anonymous closetpartyanimal said...

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