Word Association Gone Bad
By Mink
Those of you who know me know that I have a habit of putting my foot in my mouth (both literally and figuratively). So the story that happened to me the other night should come as no surprise:
I was out to dinner at a restaurant the other night with my family including my aunt, uncle, and cousins. So during dinner I was having a side conversation with my sister when I overhear something my uncle says that strikes me as rather odd. I abruptly end the convo with my sister and ask loudly to my uncle "Did I just hear you say that you'd love to see more action?"
After what seemed liked the awkward eternity of silence (even longer than the pauses I would get in high school after asking girls to prom) he responds "Jon, actually Mr. 'Seymour Aschen' was a friend of mine who just passed away today." I quickly and quite awkwardly offered my condolences. This was followed by some more uncomfortable silence and one of the quickest "check please?" requests that you will ever see.
Besides feeling a little bad about the incident, my drive home was spent thinking of how I personally would have attempted to capitalize on being given such a fortunate name. Here are a few I came up with:
(NOTE: No disrespect whatsoever is intended to Mr. Aschen, may he rest in peace. I just really love the name)
1. I could start a blog called “Ladies: Seymour Aschen every night!”
2. My prom sales pitch to girls: Seymour Aschen at the prom!
3. I could break up with a girl by saying “Sorry but you will Sey(no)mour Aschen” or “No more Aschen for you”
4. A girl could leave another guy to be with me (haha) after saying: “I’m sorry but I’m all about Sey(ing)mour Aschen”
5. I would have been able to have had the following exchange with my middle school literature teacher:
Miss Levine: (during roll call): Seymour Aschen?
Me: As usual Miss Levine
Miss Levine: See me after class
Me: It would be my pleasure
Those of you who know me know that I have a habit of putting my foot in my mouth (both literally and figuratively). So the story that happened to me the other night should come as no surprise:
I was out to dinner at a restaurant the other night with my family including my aunt, uncle, and cousins. So during dinner I was having a side conversation with my sister when I overhear something my uncle says that strikes me as rather odd. I abruptly end the convo with my sister and ask loudly to my uncle "Did I just hear you say that you'd love to see more action?"
After what seemed liked the awkward eternity of silence (even longer than the pauses I would get in high school after asking girls to prom) he responds "Jon, actually Mr. 'Seymour Aschen' was a friend of mine who just passed away today." I quickly and quite awkwardly offered my condolences. This was followed by some more uncomfortable silence and one of the quickest "check please?" requests that you will ever see.
Besides feeling a little bad about the incident, my drive home was spent thinking of how I personally would have attempted to capitalize on being given such a fortunate name. Here are a few I came up with:
(NOTE: No disrespect whatsoever is intended to Mr. Aschen, may he rest in peace. I just really love the name)
1. I could start a blog called “Ladies: Seymour Aschen every night!”
2. My prom sales pitch to girls: Seymour Aschen at the prom!
3. I could break up with a girl by saying “Sorry but you will Sey(no)mour Aschen” or “No more Aschen for you”
4. A girl could leave another guy to be with me (haha) after saying: “I’m sorry but I’m all about Sey(ing)mour Aschen”
5. I would have been able to have had the following exchange with my middle school literature teacher:
Miss Levine: (during roll call): Seymour Aschen?
Me: As usual Miss Levine
Miss Levine: See me after class
Me: It would be my pleasure
posted by The Mink at 2:45 AM
26 Comments:
minkove -- prettttyyyy pret-tttyyy pret-ttyyyyy pret-ty good.
i wanna spend a day inside your brain.
sounds kinky.
mink- i knew the guy, was a good guy
this is just another great insight into mink's head. the only reason he was humiliated was b/c he inadvertently made a joke about a dead guy. the fact that he was asking a blood relative who was at least 20 yrs older than he if "he'd like to see more action" does not seem abnormal to this creature. you have to appreciate and pity this specimen.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
mink....you're hot
Zevie may want to track you down to kill you but I have to say I that I too am looking for you but only cuz I dig you anonymous.
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