Puns, Passover, and Some Other P-Word I Can't Think of

by singerz

My blog jokes are getting a little thin. And I don’t mean they’re not funny, I mean they haven’t been eating particularly well and have lost weight. I hope they don’t have an eating disorder. Uch, now I’m gonna have to pay for therapy and start complimenting them- “No, you don’t look fat Joke, you look amazing…” Speaking of fat joke, yo mamma so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house. BOOM SUCKA.

On a completely separate note, is E Minor. In addition, 4+7=11. Had enough yet, dear reader? I could go on for hours or until someone calls the authorities.

And now, in honor of the recent holiday, a few Passover observations:

-Matzah is spelled “Matzoh” on the boxes. I tried walking around pronouncing it like that and got some strange looks.

-Matzoh gives you constipation, and prunes reverse the effect, so if you eat prunes on top of matzoh you can let them fight it out in your body.

-Horseradish has nothing to do with horses.

-If a household pet parakeet eats horseradish, it will probably die. Don’t tell my sister, we told her it had a heart attack.

-When someone spills wine on themselves, they’re supposed to pour seltzer on themselves to prevent the stain. When my brother spilled seltzer on himself, I poured wine on him. It didn’t work. And I have a black eye. (Is anyone else disturbed that when you say “black eye” fast out loud it sounds like “black guy”?)

-If you ever take the greyhound bus from New York to Washington DC to go home for Passover, do NOT sit directly next to the bathroom at the back of the bus. Cause if you do, the fat old man will probably have stomach problems and you will have to smell his stomach problems for the last 2 hours and 45 minutes of the trip.