Sunday, August 06, 2006

Slurpees with Strangers Part Deux: The Meeting

(if you have not read the first part yet, read that first: )

By Mink

On Friday afternoon I shared a slurpee with the mystery girl, named Gina. As she said in the email (last posting), she was not a “heifer.” However, she did resemble a bowling ball and wore a white sleeveless tank with a big ketchup and grease stain right above her exposed belly button.

We sat down in the shade to eat our icy treats and raved about the friendly 7-11 workers and their amazing coffee. We then discussed our futures and dreams of owning 7-11 franchises. One thing led to another, and by the end of our little meeting we were feeding each other Slurpees and whipping the slurpee drool from our respective facial hair on our chins. When our time was up, I gave her a gentlemen’s peck on the cheek and promised to attend all of her intramural rugby games.

Does this sound hot? Well unfortunately this was just my fantasy and the real story is far less exciting.

Gina, does not really resemble a bowling ball.
Nor does Gina even drink Slurpees.
Nor is Gina, a member of the Jewish faith (sorry mom).
Nor does Gina even exist for that matter.....And I was just a big dumb animal who got punked by a couple girls from the office.

The mastermind (who works with me but not at the same physical office) created the posting and then used a straight shooting accomplice who works next to me and frequently reads the Craigslist: “Missed Connections” to carry out her dirty work. This was all done to avenge a prank call I placed on her over 2 months ago (pretending to be her wacky summer roommate, who seemed to have a major crush on her). And the 2 month delay perfectly created the necessary element of surprise to carry out the attack.

I probably have not been this duped since Freshman year of college when I poured meat sauce in another dude’s pillow case after being deliberately misinformed that he messed with my stuff. But I have to give credit where credit is due and these clowns nailed me.

I must say though that I HATE losing to girls in athletic competition (including the sport of pranking) which is why this was more embarrassing than losing to every girl on my high school cross country team at every meet. This, however, was not as embarrassing as my big purchase of baby wipes at the grocery store tonight. (The wipes will change your life and I highly recommend them to all but would advise avoiding eye contact with the checkout lady as she rings up the product).

So for now this ends the slurpee story, but stay tuned for the “Slurpee Revenge” and any ideas are appreciated.


Anonymous Coke slurpee man said...

Damn...I thought you were gonna report that she gave you a slurpie...double entendre intended. Ah well.

10:35 AM  
Anonymous Herr said...


here's an idea, post your coworkers description, picture, and phone number on craigslist- singles offering free "companionship."

10:46 AM  
Anonymous Joe said...

Three comments:

1) 7-11 has TERRIBLE coffee
2) stop refering to slurpees as "icy treats". Once is funny, but its overkill now.
3) Have you ever heard of a non-sleeveless tank?

oh yea, and you're a moron!

3:22 PM  
Blogger Chaya said...

awww, is it bad that i laughed?

Joe: never ever diss 7-11 coffee. It's the cure all. mmmmm

11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why don't you dress up like a jackass every day of your life and then one day surprise everyone by not being one? Man that would totally catch people offguard. The prank to end all pranks right there.

3:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wouaaaaouuuhhh....hilarious!! and the best part is certainly when, last friday night, "soubiel" told us the story and e/o was expecting some exciting happy ending to the starbuck's "meeting": u cd even see some stars in the guy's eyes, dreaming about their next stop at the starbuckc's..u never know what "green eyes, dirty blond chick" cd happen to be there waiting just for them...still laughing on my own at the office, I am gonna get fired thanks to ur blog...! keep writing, it s

5:48 PM  
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Anonymous Heshy said...

You still owe me "kayfel" for the meat sauce/pillow fiasco

1:05 PM  
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