Wednesday, November 23, 2005

House stench

By Mink

Have you ever noticed that the house you grew up in has a unique aroma that your friends all know and analyze? Of course you don't because apparently it is impossible to know your own family's stench.

For example, I have a friend whose family's aroma is the most distinct of anyone else I know. I could actually smell his living room when he would pull out his wallet in the law school cafeteria. But the crazy thing is he only learned of his family smell when he came into my apartment and told me it smelled like the Minkove family's home. I of course also didn't realize we had a family scent (besides the natural B.O. and methane that my brother, father, and I provided.) NOTE: THE FEMALES IN OUR FAMILY ALSO RIP THEM QUITE OFTEN BUT THEY SOMEHOW RUN ON SILENT MOTORS. Anyway we both were mystified that we even had the house stench and extremely curious about what the hell our respective smells smelled like. (I guess I would label his as a "musky historic wood scent."

So I was wondering a couple things from you all:

1. Is there a such thing as house stench?

2. If they do exist, what makes a good or bad smell? and how do we even describe one? (besides "uch smells like minkove")

3. Is it possible for the family stench to travel with you when you move into a new place? and what happens when there is a collision of stenches(i.e. the rosy engelhart smell and minkove stench)?

Have a wonderful turkey day and happy bday to SingerZ, and another former roomie Cranker Joe Anker.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let me tell you why you are a moron. because you left out the most intoxicating house stench of them all. It is a true mix of mold and pheramones. one which has attracted chiks (usually of the goyish persuasion) for years. it is the smell of the creeger household. it is uncanny how eileen and kenny formulated such a melodious aroma but it is unavoidable. it is not merely present on frequuenters of the house but even those who pass by 3115 shelburne may have the cilia of their noses scorched by the potent aroma. members of the household have no choice but to emit the odor from every pour of their body. Even the flatulance of a creeger (which smells like their house) can take me back to a time when nossi and eli were the same size and eileen had bushy curls. So, shall there ever be a discussion, an argument or a debate regarding 'aromas of the house' the creegers deserve entirely more than a mention, for they have set the standard in home stenches.

12:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let me take the house stench to a-whole-nother Madreigah. What about the ntorious "Frum Smell." Yeah, you remember it. When you would go over to your Rabbi's and you would be pummeled by a thick malodourous "Frum Smell." No, scientist ever did a study, but based on my own research it is made up primarily of Crusted Chulent, Potato Kugel, Shaitel Sweat, Regular B.O., mothballs, fish and Fischel. I think that's all of them. Anyone can feel free to add other elements that they have encountered in Frum Smell. It is horrific. I am surprised no one made mention of it. And it moves baby. You can smell i on all frummies. And you know that if a 15-seater has an "I Love Tov Pizza" bumper sticker that thing is running on Frum Smell.

11:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I must admit there are houses in my neighborhood that i have dreaded entering due to "fear of the smell". In fact, it has probably cost me a few friendships. but whats worse is the potent restaurant odor. you leave with an auro of nastiness--a mix of sweat, oil, and falafel all in one--surrounds you like the boy in the bubble. someone should stand outside with a hose, would probably make a lot of money. The post-lunch rinse-off is definatly in order.

11:25 PM  
Anonymous Cashandra Lebovitch said...

The "frum smell" is defnitly a reality in what is burning a hole is our planet's ozone layer. You, unfortunately were blinded by the sheitel sweat and chuelent to mistakinly ignore the stench of last weeks gefilte fish that leaves its mark all week, as a slowly fading horseradish stain on your rebbes short sleeved white shirt. In adition to this- is a smell that has been passed down for generations. It is the smell of old crinkled pages that peaks out from your zaidie's books. That were given to your zaidie on his bar mitzvah by HIS great great GREAT grandfather who actually knew the Rambam. What do you expect from a leather bound sefer that has been through Poland, Lithuania and then right off the boat to Borough Park?

11:56 PM  
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